but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
