so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
