We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
