You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
