dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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