I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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