At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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