hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
