We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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