y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
