I think i sorta joined a cult last night
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
