Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
