Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Someone shattered a urinal.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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