I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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