Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
