are you still at the devil's house?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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