My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
