trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
