While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
