wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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