Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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