last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
