Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
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You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
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I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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