just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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