How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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