I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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