"it" just moved
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
