You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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