My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
