Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
