mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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