You're completely useless in the revolution.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize