call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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