I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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