Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I AM VODKA MAN
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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