I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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