Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
