Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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