listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
