He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
