is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
