Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
