thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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