$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
