Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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