You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
