Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
