All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
