You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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