help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
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I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
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My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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