It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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