Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
