Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
