he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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