You made me cry and you don't even care
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i need an iv and a liver transplant
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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