he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
