You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
