I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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