I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
