the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
