My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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