so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
